Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2017-08-16

The Average Urban Pigeon

I thought about how much of my entire life I have spent studying, visiting, worrying about, & basically contemplating 'public statues' ..hmm.. ... trying to figure the amount of time in hours. I think the answer is closer to zero than ten. If you include Mt Rushmore and Crazy Horse, then, yes, more than ten, but that kinda goes with the territory when you are raised in the Pahá Sápa of the Dakota Territory.

It would be an interesting study to know if the average urban pigeon spends more time sitting on statues than their neighbor humans do visiting them.

-----

Obama's tweet in response to Charlottesville is officially the most liked tweet ever. I bet Trump personally called to congratulate him.

-----


I have learned how to properly dispose of the dark chocolate that comes in the bag of mixed Hershey's Miniatures. I cut the dark chocolate pieces in half, then eat a dark half with a regular 'good' milk chocolate or a Krackel, in a 1:2 ratio, evil:good

I used to be someone's Krackel dealer, but she is gone, and that is one of the saddest events of my life (where someone didn't die). 

I suddenly realized just now that I started blogging 10 years ago just after she mysteriously disappeared and cancelled our friendship without bothering to tell me. I have absolutely no idea why she left. She moved from Borger to Amarillo and was busy with her third pregnancy. I thought she was getting close to being my best friend, then, -poof- she was gone. I was clueless for several years. I even wrote her several letters, getting no replies, giving her updates on our family. I would see her mother-in-law occasionly, who would give me vague replies, like, 'she sure is busy with her kids' and I would ask her to tell my 'friend' hi for me.

I did phone her once about three years ago to let her know about a wonderful new future event (addition) in our family. She only demanded harshly, 'How did I get her phone number?!?!?' - I told her it was public information from the white pages. She demanded that I never call her again and hung up!!! 

Imagine my shock. I have absolutely no idea what I have done to this person to receive such treatment.  I have discussed this with my wife a few times, but I don't think I have told very many people until now. 

On a road trip to Houston one time shortly after that phone call, I saw someone walking by who looked remarkably close to her as I was getting something to eat out of my cooler in the back of our SUV at a gas station. I told myself, 'You just need to stop thinking about her, she doesn't want you in her life.' I didn't realize that I had actually said this out loud, because my wife up front in the drivers seat said, 'Why did you say that?' - not knowing who I was talking about. I told my wife who I was talking about but not the event, the woman walking by, that had caused it. Then my wife said, 'Oh, I saw that woman walk by who looked like T_____.' 

Hopper at Day 131

Hopper at Day 131

He often falls asleep in delightfully funny poses, often trying to be as close to me or Pepper as he can possibly be.

He was going to get a new red collar to match his harness and leash, but I didn't like the style of the locally available ones. They didn't appear to latch securely.



2017-08-15

Too White

Days of Trump: 207  Done  1254  To Go

Today Scary Moochie officially doesn't start his now not-so-new extinct ex-job. The non-excitement and half vast relief have built up to a quiet squashed & crushed undone crescendo.

-----

Today's Silly Riddle:

What do you call a childless Italian deer?

A no bambino Bambi

-----

I am guessing that if Donald used a four syllable word like 'egregious', he must have had a speechwriter create that text.

It appears to be a 3 or 4 syllable word, which means in Texas that could vary from 2 to 5 syllables. I am thinking of trying to say it with a distinct 'greg' syllable.

-----

Charlottesville: White is a very exact technical physical expression of light and paint as the color of absence, at one end of a range opposite of black, but artistically there are nuances of expression with names like 'off white', 'eggshell', and 'ivory' for not-quite-white. I am thinking there should also be a 'too white'.

-----

Despacito - I just recently heard this song and saw the video. Wow, with it reaching 3 billion views on YouTube I am thinking I must be close to one of the last people in the Western Hemisphere to have heard.

-----

After a drought of several weeks it won't hardly quit raining here. I am thinking this might be our coldest August in quite sometime.

2017-08-07

Meat Me In Pyongyang, Dear

I think we should respond to North Korea's recent threat that, "The U.S. will pay dearly for imposing new sanctions" by sending them deer meat in creative ways.

I suggest carpet bombing the entire country evenly distributed with one pound of frozen ground venison per person, on a weakly basis from all our air bases.

(I chose the wrong 'weakly' to go with today's deer/dear confusion theme)

2017-07-31

I Spy With My Little Eye But I Would Most Likely Die If I Try To Apply

So, if Putin kicks hundreds of US diplomats out of his country, does this mean more opportunities for out-of-work spies? Where do I sign up?!?!? Oh, wait, the last time I tried to get a job at the CIA and NSA, I ran into age limitations on new hires ...


I bet I would make a lousy spy, plus my Russian language skills aren't overly impressive, but at least I can do a fair job of sounding out the Russian alphabet, so I can read maps and signs, plus know a few phrases. Food? I am not sure about food and I have to dilute vodka with something.

-----

I have mastered the art of opening a pistachio with just the fingers and thumb of one hand. This is quite useful during phone calls. I can even do it with my eyes closed. There are still about 5 percent of the inner goodies that fly out and land on the floor.

-----

Wow, I have lived in Borger almost 40 years and didn't know that T. Boone Pickens lived just to the northeast of us. 

I guess it never came up in conversation. 

His place, Mesa Vista Ranch, is north of Pampa on the Canadian River west of Highway 70. His house is rather easy to find in Google Earth, its about a half acre in size. His private airport is farther west, still on the south side of the Canadian River. We share a common history, with Phillips Petroleum Company being our first employer out of college.


2017-07-29

This Could Very Well Be My Cryptic Suicide Note

Someone asked the question, "Who is going to break first, me or Trump?" My response:

I feel your pain, 
time just seems to drain,
Drip.
Drip.
Too many times my waking thought
Is what the hell did I do to deserve what I got,
Blip.
Oh, the semi-horror beyond belief
Of the constant muffled internal scream of no relief,
Skip.
Skip.
And now there is a younger junior insane profane vulgurer version asinine assistant named Mooch,
My traumatized soul says, 
Its now just way too muuch,
Rip.

2017-07-24

The Wicked Vet of The Middle

Hopper survived his second visit to the vet last week, but I am not sure that I did. 

He got a different person this time, and I am not sure she was human. I didn't know we were getting her that day, and when she walked in and introduced herself, my heart sank. I took my previous dog Madeline to her a long time ago. She was in a different city to the south at that time and after that experience I knew I never wanted to see her again. So I guess we'll be going back to the vet in Spearman even though its 40 miles away to the north. They know how to treat customers properly.

Hopper has grown from 19 lb to 36 lb in the last two months.

-----

Here is the one funny thing that happened at the vet. 

I was discussing the feeding routine of my dogs, and one of the ingredients is 'boiled chicken'. When I said those two words the veterinarian's head jerked back in disbelief, her mouth flew open with a slight gasp, and I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her skull. 

This reaction made me pause, and she exclaimed, "Why would you feed them that?!?!?" ... which, of course, confused me, and I repeated quizzically, "boiled chicken?!?!?". 

She then cracked up laughing, and replied, "Oh, I thought you said, 'spoiled chicken'" - which amused me, thinking, 'Why would anyone EVER do that, purposely spoil chicken to feed to a dog?!?!? Does this really happen somewhere, anywhere?'

2017-07-22

The Wolf Who Cried 'Little Boy'

Jeff Sessions is trying to kill me but he doesn't really know about it.

I wake up at 3 something AM to find out about the intercepted Russian intelligence communications about Jeff Sessions. I watch a news video of four people discussing this situation and how complicated and convoluted, what may and may not be real, and who and what leaks are happening.

Then, before I can get coffee in me, my little brain writes the title for a new, slightly modified, childrens' story, "The Wolf Who Cried 'Little Boy'". Oh, my goodness, I start laughing so hard my head feels like it is going to explode, and my throat really hasn't recovered yet from yesterday, so I am having trouble breathing as well. Luckily there are no dogs around to comfort me as I had let them outside a few minutes before, as I am in the warmest room of the house yet still freezing.

I get the arctic blast machine tamed, coffee made, and share a peanut butter sandwich with the dogs. Disaster averted.

The littlest dog fell asleep in the arm chair a few feet away while staring at me and now he is barking high pitched very lightly while he has a dream of chasing something. The creaking noise of my rotating kitchen chair causes his eyes to open but nothing else moves. I tell him that I love him, and he blinks approvingly, then curls up in a ball out of sight in the chair.

My cute little wolfie wanna be

2017-07-17

How Little Rain

How little rain can come down
In our little desolate Texas town
That only an ant could possibly drown
And the grass will prob'bly stay crispy brown 

Where the roof hangs over the side of the house
The concrete slab didn't feel the miniscule douse
The flood ravaged on a molecular scale
But left very little in the rainwater pail

And the dog asleep out back didn't seem to care
That the rarified rain had slightly matted his hair
And this I can plainly prove of the quiet pup quite a lot
By the distance that he didn't move from his dog shaped dry spot

The house must have noticed I arrived too late for the storm
So it mustered up all the moisture its roof could form
And it landed on my left shoulder suddenly with a plop
The torrent of a tiny single solitary water drop






2017-07-12

Noise Troll Dumbass


Notice: He knows where his whole nose is and a hole of his nose is.
The hole below his nose holes is known for its noise, 
It generates great hate or stingy stinky things irate 
with his know nothing voice noise,
Oh, vibratory vocal cords of discord tell us a story of mystery or history 
Or your busy family proclivity for business criminal activity.


A Sleep At The We'll

So, at 7:15 this morning I stop at the intersection of 3rd Street and Hedgecoke at a red light while headed west. Suddenly I wake up because the car behind me is honking - I fell asleep while waiting on the traffic light to change!

ONLY ... that didn't happen in real life. It happened in my dream. I fell asleep and woke up in my dream! But then the car horn in my dream causes me to wake up in real life, and I look down to see that it is 7:20 and I should have left for work 20 minutes ago.

So, I stand up really fast from my chair in the livingroom of my house, and the car alarm on my wife's vehicle directly on the other side of the wall goes off, and I realize I was the last person to drive yesterday and that my motion set it off, so the key fob must be in my left pocket below my camera in its case. But I have some difficulty getting the key fob out of my pocket and finally take the camera out first, before getting the car to be quiet.

-----

ONE PERCENT chance of rain?!?!?!?
...now you are just messin' with my head, Weather Channel. Now I need to wake up at 3 AM to see if it happens.




2017-07-06

Knowbody No's The Trumple I've Schemed

167 Done 
1294 (or hopefully less) To Go

He is gone to Europe, quick, somebody lock the door so he can't get back in!

I Am The Biggest Ambiguitor said: "I think it was Russia, but I think it was probably other people and, or countries, and I see nothing wrong with that statement. Nobody really knows. Nobody really knows for sure," Trump said in his first press conference overseas as president.

He is wrong, there are know-bodies.

-----

Using the bottom half of a plastic gallon milk jug, I have been making approximately 1/3 gallon sized blocks of ice every day or more for the dogs water bucket outside.

After trimming my pineapple crop yesterday I noticed while walking back to the house that the chunk of ice was gone! Pepper had stole it for himself, with it laying a few feet away in the grass. So I put it back in the water bucket and 'scolded' him. It was a bit smaller than the original block, of course, but it was still a much large weight and size than I would have imagined him carrying in his mouth.

When I came back outside after telling Tamie about it, he had stole it again, only this time moving it farther away and in a slight doggie depression in the dirt.

-----

My suggestion to Donald Trump for dealing with North Korea is to build a wall ... and then demand that Mexico pay for it.

-----

At this very moment North Korea most likely has no ICBM's - no fully functional ones, anyway - it had one and fired it to celebrate the 4th of July.

Now, if we can just figure out how to put a bug in their software/firmware so that once a rocket is launched it turns around in mid flight and heads back to Pyongonegone, we will have something interesting.

At that point we could rename their rocket 'Boom-erang', emphasis on the boom.

(Yes, I know their capital is really spelled Pyongyang)

2017-06-19

What About Dessert?

I saw that my second cousin who lives 80 miles away had quail and pheasants, day old birds, for sale. They raise game birds for commercial hunting facilities.

I sent her a note in FB, asking, "How many pheasants would it take for a large batch of soup?"

Her reply, "Funny........cuz....  you need the grown birds not the chicks."

My response: "I was just guessing, thinking if I had one gallon of soup, and each pheasant ate 1 fl oz of soup, then I could throw a dinner party for 128 baby pheasants. My neXt question is what do baby pheasants like to have for dessert - ice cream? Pie? Cake?"

-----

I could see Trump building a solar wall on the Mexican-USA border, and then the Mexican government responding by planting shade trees to render it useless.

-----

If you reaLLy want a measure of just how slow the federal government is, consider that the Supreme Court is finally going to hear a case regarding the nefarious practice of gerrymandering, and it was a word invented in March 1812. So, it only took 205 years and 3 months, thats all.

-----

My first batch of mead production is underway. It started on June 12. I have been chartng the yeast activity by measuring the burps in the airlock. It appears that two weeks might be a good time to make a transfer from primary fermentation to secondary, then recharge the primary.

-----

Hopper (right) at Day 68 with his best dog buddy Pepper. Hopper is much smaller than Pepper, the camera position distorts their size.


2017-06-11

Cake Plus Cake Equals More Cake

I am in the process of making a German chocolate cake for a charity event when I remember that I haven't got around to making my own birthday cake yet this year. I think I have made about six cakes in 2017 so far, so this should be my highest year to date. 


My new toys for the kitchen are springform pans for making beautifully round layered cakes. I got two set of 8, 9, and 10 inch pans.

My next thought was, "Did I get any birthday presents from anyone?" Then I remembered that the owner of the local diner bought my cup of coffee as a distinct birthday gift. Just the coffee, not the cup.

I bought myself some things for a new venture in alcohol. I am going to make mead. Have yeast, will make bubbles.

I did figure out that one of my dearest friends from childhood has her birthday only a few days from mine, so I now know someone almost the exact same age as me.

On my birthday I am sitting with my wife outside a hospital waiting on a relative to show up so we can give them instructions for their medical testing, then we are leaving town in order to go to Red Lobster. While waiting I see a memorial bench nearby made from stone that has a person's name, and then their date of birth and death. I do the math and realize that this person, who died a few years ago, lived exactly one day less than what I am on my birthday right that moment. 

I did get a really cool birthday card from my mother. It has two people laying on the floor yet holding a mug of beer straight up in the air. My mother wrote my name by the feet of one of the horizontal humans and my cousin L's name by the other one. The low angle above the floor for the perspective at which the art work in drawn makes it so you can't completely see the heads of the people, BUT on the third time I read the card I noticed that one of the human figures was male and the other female based on the pair of triangular shapes for breasts! Now, understand that the two human figures are clothed wearing the same type clothing, so my mother didn't realize she was writing my male cousin's name by the feet of the female in the picture. My cousin and I laughed about this together. Now I don't remember if I told my mother about this. I will call her right now. No answer. Cell phone service is extremely lousy where she lives in a rural setting.

My mother, a non-beer person, felt the need to include the "to certain people". I must be a certain.

Update: Someone paid (in a bidding war) $31 for my cake that cost me around $5 in supplies. But my best friend Susie brought TWO pies to the same event, and wound up having her first pie go for $40. The funny part is that Susie bought BOTH of her pies back!!!



2017-05-01

Things & Thoughts & A New Puppy


-----

I would do some housework, but there is something small and warm and brown and white and furry fast asleep on my leg.

Snoring...

-----

So, if you had a second cousin sixty times removed, you would only be minutely related?

-----

Turkey is afraid of Wikipedia?!?!?!? My, what silliness.

-----

Dogmestic Tranquility: All three dogs piece-fully working on their own chew bone si-maul-taneously

-----

Is there anyone else who thought it was a huge security risk to put all the US Senate on a few busses?

This proves that Bernie, the non-attendee, is the smartest one of them.

-----

His socks were all white when he first came here.
He has been enjoying getting to go to work with me, seeing everyone there. He got in and out of my car with just a little help from me today, went fairly much straight into his crate. We take breaks by the loading dock on the west side, where there is some grass.


-----

I shaved my beard off. It weighed 1.9 grams.

-----

I just recently brewed my 7th batch of beer. The type is American Cream Ale. I think that is the fifth time out of the seven that I have brewed that particular type, and have always used Brewer's Best brand of brew kits. I do have a 'Northy 12' to get started soon from Northern Brewers. It is a Belgian Quad.



2017-03-29

Poem: Wiggle Worm Warm

(After several weeks of dryness, where grassland fires have claimed the lives of local ranchers and thousands of acres burned, it has finally started raining some.)


Sprinkle, sprinkle little cloud
Your noise is a wee bit loud
But the rain is very nice
As long as there is no ice
Oh, but later loud round ice does come
It seems every storm here has at least some
And the little scared dog's favorite hiding place
Is to wiggle worm warm under my arm his face

2017-03-21

Poem: Sprung



Spring has sprung
So summer can simmer
Us on to an awesome Autumn 
Of full Fall
To store more for 
To enter Winter
Clearly a yearly
Thing to spring to do
For me and for you
To meander through

2017-02-25

CPAP & CCCP

Four Letters Long
CPAC & CCCP
Conservative Political Action Conference
C is S sound in Russian & P is R
CCCP is the Union of Soviet Social Republics
Soyuz Sovetskikh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublik
In Cyrillic alphabet: Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик

From Google Translate:
Консервативная политическая конференция действий
Konservativnaya politicheskaya konferentsiya deystviy


False Flag Operation at CPAC:


2017-02-21

Some Quotes


"IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE MORE CHILDREN THAN YOU HAVE CAR WINDOWS." - ERMA BOMBECK

"EVERY TIME I THINK THAT I'M GETTING OLD, AND GRADUALLY GOING TO THE GRAVE, SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS." - LILLIAN CARTER

"A CYNIC IS NOT MERELY ONE WHO READS BITTER LESSONS FROM THE PAST, HE IS ONE WHO IS PREMATURELY DISAPPOINTED IN THE FUTURE." - SYDNEY HARRIS

"IDEALISM IS FINE, BUT AS IT APPROACHES REALITY THE COST BECOMES PROHIBITIVE." - WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY

"WASHINGTON IS A CITY OF SOUTHERN EFFICIENCY AND NORTHERN CHARM." - JOHN F. KENNEDY

"WE'VE HAD TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS IN THE COUNTRY FOR TEN YEARS NOW, AND MOST OF US AREN'T EVEN DAMP YET." - MOLLY IVINS

"EVERYONE HAS HIS OWN CONSCIENCE, AND THERE SHOULD BE NO RULES ABOUT HOW A CONSCIENCE SHOULD FUNCTION." - ERNEST HEMMINGWAY

"I ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK THAT ENDED WITH THE WORD MAYONNAISE." - RICHARD BRAUTIGAN

"MEN MUST HAVE CORRUPTED NATURE A LITTLE, FOR THEY WERE NOT BORN WOLVES, AND THEY HAVE BECOME WOLVES." - VOLTAIRE

"IF ONLY I HAD A LITTLE HUMILITY, I'D BE PERFECT." - TED TURNER

"OPPORTUNITIES ARE USUALLY DISGUISED AS HARD WORK, SO MOST PEOPLE DON'T RECOGNIZE THEM." - ANN LANDERS

"IF TRAGEDY IS AN EXPERIENCE OF HYPERINVOLVEMENT, COMEDY IS AN EXPERIENCE OF UNDERINVOLVEMENT, OF DETACHMENT." - SUSAN SONTAG

"REMEMBER THAT AS A TEENAGER YOU ARE AT THE LAST STAGE IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT THE PHONE IS FOR YOU." - FRAN LEBOWITZ

"I DID NOT HAVE THREE THOUSAND PAIRS OF SHOES, I HAD ONE THOUSAND AND SIXTY." - IMELDA MARCOS

"I WOULD RATHER SIT ON A PUMPKIN AND HAVE IT ALL TO MYSELF THAN TO BE CROWDED ON A VELVET CUSHION." - HENRY DAVID THOREAU

"THE TROUBLE WITH BEING PUNCTUAL IS THAT NOBODY'S THERE TO APPRECIATE IT." - FRANKLIN P. JONES

"PERHAPS ONE HAS TO BE VERY OLD BEFORE ONE LEARNS TO BE AMUSED RATHER THAN SHOCKED." - PEARL S. BUCK

"THE PROPER TIME TO INFLUENCE THE CHARACTER OF A CHILD IS ABOUT ONE HUNDRED YEARS BEFORE HE IS BORN." - DEAN WILLIAM R. INGE

"I DON'T WANT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO DANCE, I WANT PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DANCE." - GEORGE BALANCHINE

"WHEN YOU BUY A PILL AND BUY PEACE WITH IT YOU GET CONDITIONED TO CHEAP SOLUTIONS INSTEAD OF DEEP ONES." - MAX LERNER

"THE REALLY FRIGHTENING THING ABOUT MIDDLE AGE IS THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU'LL GROW OUT OF IT." - DORIS DAY

"NO MATTER HOW OLD A MOTHER IS, SHE WATCHES HER MIDDLE AGED CHILDREN FOR SIGNS OF IMPROVEMENT." - FLORIDA SCOTT MAXWELL

"INTELLIGENCE IS QUICKNESS TO APPREHEND AS DISTINCT FROM ABILITY, WHICH IS CAPACITY TO ACT WISELY ON THE THING APPREHENDED." - ALFRED WHITEHEAD

"CHEESE ... MILK'S LEAP TOWARD IMMORTALITY." - CLIFTON FADIMAN

"MOST OF US SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE LAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS AND TOO LITTLE ON THE LAST SIX THOUSAND YEARS." - WILL DURANT

"ONE OF THE LESSON[s] OF HISTORY IS THAT NOTHING IS OFTEN A GOOD THING TO DO AND ALWAYS A CLEVER THING TO SAY." - WILL DURANT

"THERE IS NOTHING SO USELESS AS DOING EFFICIENTLY THAT WHICH SHOULD NOT BE DONE AT ALL." - PETER F. DRUCKER

"EVERY MAN HAS THREE CHARACTERS ... THAT WHICH HE EXHIBITS, THAT WHICH HE HAS, AND THAT WHICH HE THINKS HE HAS." - ALPHONSE KAN

"HISTORY NEVER LOOKS LIKE HISTORY WHEN YOU ARE LIVING THROUGH IT. IT ALWAYS LOOKS CONFUSING AND MESSY, AND IT ALWAYS FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE." - JOHN GARDNER

"ALL MEN SHOULD STRIVE 
TO LEARN BEFORE THEY DIE
WHAT THEY ARE RUNNING FROM, 
AND TO, AND WHY." 
- JAMES THURBER

"CHARACTER IS LIKE A TREE, AND REPUTATION LIKE ITS SHADOW. THE SHADOW IS WHAT WE THINK OF IT. THE TREE IS THE REAL THING." - ANONYMOUS

"NO FORM OF ART GOES BEYOND ORDINARY CONSCIOUSNESS AS FILM DOES, STRAIGHT TO OUR EMOTIONS, DEEP INTO THE TWILIGHT ROOM OF THE SOUL." - INGMAR BERGMAN

"MUSIC IS YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR WISDOM. IF YOU DON'T LIVE IT, IT WON'T COME OUT OF YOUR HORN." - CHARLIE PARKER










2017-02-19

A Few Things Drumpf

Having Donald Trump go back out on the campaign trail after a month into the presidency is like hiring someone to do a job, but then they keep wanting to redo the same exact job interview on a regular basis. Except now they want to talk about their new foxy Swedish girlfriend who is really just a fantasy.

-----

I think if Donald likes Florida so much, we should encourage him to stay there permanently, in his assisted believing facility.

-----

The President 'Meats' The Press

-----

A day without immigrants was an okay idea, but I would rather try A Day Without Donald. If that is a yuuuge success, then maybe we should try for a week, then a month, then a year, ...

-----

Benjamin Netanyahu and Bend The Truth Nutty Yahoo give a joint press conference from the White House.

(Definition: yahoo - noun - a rude, noisy, or violent person - red neck, boor, lout, oaf)

-----

One of the constitutional requirements for being president is to be at least 35 years old. I think it was put in place so that the president would be someone with hopefully some maturity. If Trump continues to act like he is 4 years old, then he should have to wait another 31 years to be president.

-----

Here is a partial list of new names Putin has for the US

Urinenighted Stains of Amerika

Amerikistan

Trumpmenistan (named in honor of fallen comrade Flynnski)

-----

Flynn is fleeing his job
Californians are fleeing their dam problem
Missiles are fleeing North Korea
Where should I flee ?!?!?

My new word: Ref-flee-gee

-----

Ending on something non-Trumpical

In the middle of the night I think I hear my wife say, "Our county is now purple, it was brown."

Nothing else.

I lay there for a while wondering if I misunderstood her, thinking, I'm pretty sure she is awake, not talking in her sleep.

After trying to think of alternate words I finally give up and ask her what she meant.

She was talking about the weather map on TV which has a picture but muted.

I just giggled. I had thought it might have been something political.

2017-02-04

New Word: Trumpacrazy

15 down, 1446 to go -> Completed 1% of Trumpacrazy

2017-02-02

Orangey and The Bannon

I have an idea for an animated series called, 'Orangey and The Bannon' based on the animated television show characters of Pinky and The Brain.


Orangey: What are we goin' to do today, Banny-On-On (yuuuge) ?

Bannon: The same thing we do everyday, Orangey, try to take over the world by pissing off slightly less than half of everyone on the planet.

Orangey: Who zit gonna be today, Steverino Bannonbino? Can we do Italy, our pizza delivery last night was late and the crust was burned.

Bannon: Let me check-in with the Kremlin first, you know how Putin can get when we act without his approval.

Orangey: Nyet!! I do nyet!

Bannon: Orangey, you aren't working on your Russian enough, 'nyet' means 'no'.

Orangey: Thatz what I said, 'I know'. Nyet-nyet-nyet, sounds like we are playing volleyball, (narf-ski!!!!!)

2016-12-06

Taiwan Won One Tie

I can't imagine the United States government getting upset if China's leader called the governor of the state of California, so communist China shouldn't be so upset if Trump, who isn't even a real president yet, has a phone call to the 'wrong' China by talking to the leader of Taiwan. There is a strong possibility that Trump didn't know which China he was talking to on the phone, and there is an even higher probability that he didn't care if he was talking to the 'wr0Ng' China.

-----

Here is my veRy first Dutch language joke:

The Dutch word for 'tail' is 'staart'. But the tail on my dog is at the end, so I would have chose the spelling 'eend'.

-----

I saw a news article where someone tried to blame part of Cuba's economic problems on the US embargo, but then I thought, didn't Cuba have the entire rest of the planet to try to conduct foreign trade?

-----
 
So Donald Trump and Al Gore have a meeting to find common ground. 

They both have 'al' in their first name and 'r' in the last. Oh, and one of them 'used' to be a Democrat.

2016-12-02

We Are Not Mice

I sUddenLY discovered that the kind folks who invented the lid for my disposable coffee cup added a recessed region for my nose to make it easier to drink my morning resurrection concoction. Get the noser closer to the action. 

Actually I am sitting outside with my sick dog hoping we get to go inside soon. Its not too bad, I am actually wearing pants instead of the usual cargo shorts, and have this large towel over my head, tenting it. If I leave the sick dog outside by himself he starts getting barky-barky. The non-sick dog is curled up under my bench, wanting attention from my feet in the form of massage. Very little of me is actually cold. 

I am probably the only person outside at 6 AM studying Dutch in my tiny town of 13k in the dark. The people who made this particular group of lessons added several silly parts. I am using an app called duoLingo which I absolutely love. I used it for French (YES!!! I actually enjoyed studying French for the first time in my entire life.) As my younger son says from time to time, "Oh, the Dutch". 

Strange Dutch Examples: 
  • The birds read the newspaper. 
  • We are not mice. 
  • The boy is wearing a dress.
  • You are sour, just like a lemon. 
  •  and my favorite: Excuse me, I am an apple

-----

YEA!!! My friend is coming home from prison veRy veRy soon!!! I am going to cook her a buncha stuff and I have been saving beer from every batch for her. I plan to spoil her even more than I did before her incarceration.

-----

NEW BEER: I am going to try brewing a new type of beer from Northern Brewer Homebrew Supplies called Northy 12 Belgian Quad.

-----

 
So the panda bear at the National Zoo had to have surgery to remove a half-eaten piece of bamboo. Here is my headline:

Bei Bei Has Bamboo Boo-Boo

2016-09-15

Movie Idea: Deplorable Me

I came up with an animated movie idea: Deplorable Me based on Despicable Me, where the character Gru is replaced, somewhat, by Donald Trump, and the minions are a wide assortment of his rabid fan base, who actually adore being called Deplorables.

2016-07-12

Let The Fool Build His Wall

I think they should go ahead and let Trump build his wall with his own money, but have to do it only 1 inch vertically at a time, complete 40 foot width and Pacific Ocean to Gulf of Mexico length. That way when it gets to be about 5 inches thick, we can stop the project, and rename it "Interstate Zero", a troll road.

-----

I am of the opinion that Supreme Court Justices should be allowed to speak their minds about Presidential candidates. Why should 300 plus million US citizens get to express their opinions and yet the nine members of the top bench should not? 

Donald Trump is again at his nastiest calling for Ginsberg's apology and hoping she gets off the court soon.

If it is wrong for the judiciary to express their opinions of Trump, then it should be just as wrong for members of Congress. 

I, for one, welcome the words of wisdom from legal scholars. I don't think enough politicians are saying strong enough words against The Monster that is Donald Trump.

I am not so sure that Trump understands there are three equally important branches to our Federal Government.


2016-07-08

Tiny Useless Evil Minds

A veRy sad day for our country. To target to kill people, especially police, simply because they are white is so unimagineably heinously bizarre. What tiny useless evil minds some people have.

Quote I found during puzzle play:

"QUIET MINDS CANNOT BE PERPLEXED OR FRIGHTENED, BUT GO ON IN FORTUNE OR MISFORTUNE AT THEIR OWN PRIVATE PACE, LIKE A CLOCK DURING A THUNDERSTORM." - ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

2016-07-07

Veteran Suicide Rate Misinformation

I think the news organizations are misleading the public about the suicide rates of U.S. veterans.

They report that veterans have a suicide rate that is twice the general population.

But then I thought, those two groups don't have the same gender ratio. 

In the group veterans, the ratio of men to women is about 10:1

In the group general population, the ratio of men to women is 97:100

But the ratio of men to women suicide for the general population is 3.5:1

So, these numbers seem to indicate that being a veteran doesn't mean they have a higher rate of suicide because gender isn't being factored into the information.

2016-07-03

Determining My Cause of Death

I have figured out how I am going to die. It will be by heart attack because someone, most likely my wife, frightened me.


I spend a great deal of time alone, either at home or at work. When I am at home my dogs are almost always with me, but I am away from other humans. So my dogs never seem to startle me drastically, even if they come to wake me up.

But at work I am usually the only person working in the southern half of the building where our printing business is located, and I don't hear people walking (carpet) and they are suddenly right behind me in my office and start talking to me. This scares me terribly. I need to install motion detectors.

Sometimes it is remarkably silly. I am sitting in the dining room in the early morning and the younger dog is headed to the bedroom area. I know he is going to wake up my wife, most likely. I have thought that all through. But when she appears a few minutes later, I am still drastically startled.

I guess I need to live on a desserted island. I didn't spell it 'deserted', as I would like to live on an island that has a Cheesecake Factory. I had dinner in Wyoming a few weeks ago, and it was a marvelous steak dinner followed by cheesecake. They had a huge variety of cheesecake that are brought in from Denver.

It appears I will finally get to go to a Cheesecake Factory in Oklahoma City soon. It will be on the way to Missouri. When several people were talking about things to do on our vacation in Branson, while we were at my wife's cosmetology section of the building, they were mentioning all these faith oriented tourist attractions. I cracked everyone up laughing when I asked, "Do they have attractions for us atheists?". I am not eXactly sure how you would make an atheist themepark. No one asked me if I was serious about being an atheist, which I found surprising, not that I ever have conversations about what I believe with anyone. I like to remain a mystery. 

2016-06-04

Another Happy Pineapple Plant Owner Has Happened

This pineapple plant showed up at the diner, a present to Sandy from Frankie. Sometime in the future I will try to conduct a pineapple plant census of Borger Texas to determine our per capita pineapple plant ratio. 

I have a new neighbor who would like to move in, but I don't think my wife would approve. Both dogs have left this frog/toad alone now for at least three days, and he is right here at my back door every evening.


You can just barely see a part of Pepper in this picture. 

Update: The next evening he was back again, and the dogs didn't mess with him, eXcept for maybe an occasional sniff while in transit to the great outdoors. Because there is a light on just inside during most hours of the night, there are alot of bugs attracted to the area, so the frog/toad is most likely well fed. See, electricity can help feed frog/toads!!!

Here is a better picture of Pepper laying on the floor holding me. His mantra is, "I told you, I must hold you"

2016-05-28

I Wonder If There Is A College Degree for This

Some people are into time management, wild life management or managing their 401K stock market portfolio.

I am forced into Dog Biscuit Management. 

When Santa Claus first got the younger dog Pepper for me in December he ate everything at a voracious pace, most likely after living a life of extreme scarcity. But after living here 5 months he has figured out that he has hit the doggie sweepstakes, and suddenly has become very nonchalant about eating things.

This suddenly blew up veRy early last Sunday morning after giving both dogs their dog biscuits while I was trying to make coffee. There was a veRy loud furry fury from the living room from The Big Dog, Cooper, as he most likely had finished his three items and was moving on to Pepper's uneaten items. But I am the alpha leader of the pack and shut them down pretty fast. 

So I have to be careful every time I give them treats. I am trying a new technique today of putting Pepper's treats on the kitchen floor on the south side, where Cooper rarely goes, and giving Cooper's to him in the living room. But Pepper still carries his treats into the living room.

I try.

2016-05-20

No, I Am Not A Thief

On any given night there is a strong chance I will be woke by a stray dog in the neighborhood. I sleep with my window open.


-----

It has decided to be Spring finally and it can't decide when to stop raining, so it has made it difficult to mow, and it is too cold too often. But at least it isn't snowing here like it has been in South Dakota.

-----

I had a bizarre thing happen at the diner. I sat down at the community table in the chair nearest the kitchen so I could chat with Sandy the owner and have a beverage. It was last Saturday evening late and my wife had already fed me a huge supper at home.

After maybe an hour I was momentarily alone as Sandy had wandered off to perform some task and I was reading some news, when suddenly from the kitchen through the vertically narrow window for food delivery the owner's grandson, the chef, asks me if I would like a sandwich.

Bear in mind it is not uncommon for me to both give and receive food as a gift at the diner, my home away from home. I am always sharing new recipes, home made brew and stew, a birthday cake or two, to name but a few. So I ask what kind of sandwich, and Gabe tells me it is an egg and bacon sandwich, but just as he was fixing to hand it to me declared, "Oh, I forgot the cheese!" and he sets it back down and jokes about how masterfully he cuts a piece of cheese with surgical skill, we laugh, and I ask for a side order of mustard, which he puts a spoonful and a half into a small glass container. I remembered that I had promised to get him some cake soon, but I haven't baked in quite a while.

So I thank him and simply turn to sit back down at my spot, and I get to about the middle of the second bite of sandwich even though it has LETTUCE on this sandwich, which I thought was bizarre.

Suddenly Sandy appears exasperated semi shouting, "Ernie! Why are you eating Hawk's sandwich!!!"

I am taken aback, and I said, "What?!?!? Gabe offered me a sandwich, so I just ate it! He asked me, 'Ernie, would you like a sandwich?'" Somehow Gabe thought it was my order, and what he probably said was, "Are you ready for your sandwich?" not wanting for me to have to wait for the waitress to get back to deliver it just 6 feet and get cold.

The waitress had seen me from across the room get the food from the window and had not heard any of my interaction with Gabe, so she had talked to Sandy before confronting me. So then everyone cracked up laughing and started teasing me about stealing food. Of course, I returned the favor.

The customer named Hawk was sitting in the closest booth to the south of me and he enjoyed the episode too. As the second sandwich arrived in the delivery window the waitress exclaimed, "Ernie, don't steal that second sandwich!!" and laughed, to which I waited until she delivered it to Hawk to say across the room, "Be sure to charge him for 2 sandwiches!!!" which cracked up everyone to laughing again. There were a few more lines that I have forgot by now.

About 5 minutes later Sandy decides to join me back at the community table with a plate of food, and I promised not to eat any of it. She laughed, and left to go back to the kitchen, AND what appears next?!?!?!? Sandy brings me out an unrequested bowl heaping with strawberry and chocolate ice cream!!!

She lets me know that the ice cream is actually a gift to her from another regular diner patron named Frankie. I tell her that I rarely receive things from Frankie, that my wife is usually the recipient of his gifts, as he always brings her things from the grocery store, as my wife cuts his hair. BUT that day I had actually received TWO things from Frankie indirectly, the ice cream being the second. But I told Sandy there was absolutely NO way she would ever be able to guess what Frankie had given me to give to my wife earlier that day. He had me follow him out to his truck at our place of business in order to give me an old dirty plastic bucket!!! He had given my wife one a couple months ago so that our dogs could have a larger water bowl at the house. And now they were getting another bucket for outside water.

So Sandy sits down to eat her supper and tells me that my event of eating the sandwich tonight reminded her of an old customer named Denver, now deceased, who used to come into the diner and would stand at the north end of the bar - Sandy turning left to point at the spot just across the aisle - and he would always drink these short bottles of beer (I forget the brand). She said that one night she caught Denver walking out the front door with an expensive compound plate and insulation pan underneath it piled high with hot Mexican food that he had taken right out of the food delivery window when no one was noticing! She hollered at him, "Denver! Get back here with my expensive plate and I'll put that food in a to-go container for ya!" So that explained why there had been several sporadic episodes where the waiter and the chef had gotten into arguments about missing plates of food, where Denver had absconded with meals. He would just wait for something of interest to show up and run off with someone's food.

2016-05-09

An Egg Sell Lent Dream

I just woke from a simple short dream in which my wife walks into the room and announces that I will no longer be allowed to have pet roosters (yes, plural)

First, I have no pet roosters
Second, I have no desire to have pet roosters
Third, why do I have this sudden desire to immediately start building a chicken coop?!?!?
Fourth, why did I think that 'Kanga' was such a great name for a pet rooster? Hold it, no, 'Kanga Rooster' is a great name for a pet rooster. 

Googling 'prefabricated chicken coop'

-----

Well, I finally found something unique to give my wife for her birthday. I got an e-mail from the John R. Kasich presidential campaign letting me know that all their merchandise is FIFTY percent off!!!! 
(See, I am a true fan, I knew his middle name.)

-----

So, Cinco de Mayo celebrates an 1862 military battle defeat of the French army by the Mexican army. I think that means we can create a holiday for any day where some battle took place by any pair of nations. I think that will limit us to only 365.25 days out of 365.25 days of the year.

2016-05-01

Do We Have a Serial Killer or a Hit Man on the Loose?

Interesting Borger News: on Monday morning at the diner Sandy just barely avoided being shot while in the kitchen. 

She had just turned to go into the north prep room from the kitchen and a bullet came in the huge window right at where her head had just been standing by the grill. The bullet then went through a frig and a bottle of salsa then after it came out of the refrigerator it entered a bottle of some cleaner but the liquid changed the trajectory suddenly 90 degrees where it then ricocheted off a few more surfaces entering at least one more room leaving a bit of an exit wound in the wall. When Sandy heard it she initially thought her deep fat fryer had exploded.

Sandy brought a 45 ACP bullet from her house to compare it to the second hole, the frig entry point and it was about the same size.

The second entry point was a few inches higher than where the bullet came through the glass and so it seemed to be on a slightly upward trajectory as it entered the building, so a rough calculation seems that the shot was fired by someone in a car on Main Street, rather than a higher position or a long distance shot which would have had to have cleared the building across the street and the huge number of stationary tanker railroad cars on farther east.

Thankfully our Sandy survived intact.

[I took plenty of photographs which I will try to get from my camera later.]

2016-04-06

Republican Pennsyl Mania

This data shows that Republican voters in Pennsylvania want to have their cake and eat it too. Kasich polls last among the Republicans BUT performs better against the Democrats in a general election match up.


2016-02-14

Puzzle: Solve 6 + 4 = 4



I saw this puzzle on Facebook, and solved it by changing the 6 to a 0, to 0+4=4

Then someone else took a match from the + to change the 6 to 8, 8-4=4

Then another person changed the 6 to a 5 and then the right 4 to a 9, to 5+4=9

Then I thought about using other number bases besides base 10, and found this solution in base 9:

Change the right 4 by moving the horizontal piece, so that 4 changes to 11. Then 11 in base 9 equals 10 in base 10
6+4=11

2016-02-06

The Last and Lost Jaguar in the United States of a Mirror of Culls

I walk into the living room to tell my wife about the news story I have just read about the last wild jaguar named El Jefe that roams in Arizona. It is s'pposedly the only known jaguar in the U.S. and likely part of a group of jaguars that are in nearby northern Mexico. There is a conflict concerning a new open pit mine that would endanger El Jefe's wandering life style.


I tell my wife that there is only one jaguar left in the United States and she is amazed and asked how they know that. When I start to eXplain the techniques the scientists use to track and record the animal, she laughs and says, "Oh! I thought you meant Jaguar the automobile."

-----

Yesterday was half filled with cooking, both gumbo and spaghetti. So as part of a long birthday celebration for my friend who is a co-owner of the diner that I frequent, I gave her a portion of each food plus a bottle of my beer from my 3rd batch, an American Cream Ale. Today I will make her a German Chocolate Cake, so she can enjoy it on her day off tomorrow.

-----

On Monday I started my 4th beer batch. It is a Witbier of the style like Blue Moon Belgian White. I will transfer it from the primary to the secondary fermentation tank today or tomorrow. So I have now tried making 3 different kinds of beer, and enjoyed the American Light, and American Cream Ale. All these kits come from a company called Brewer's Best. My dog Pepper destroyed one of my jugs of water while I had gone to the store very briefly to get a piece of equipment for the extra mash stage of the Witbier. So I ran both dogs outside so I could make beer in peace, otherwise Pepper would have been constantly in the way.

-----

The Iowa caucus was bizarre. It seemed so undemocratic with coin tosses and delegates and super delegates. I don't understand why there isn't simply voting and then deciding a winner based on who gets the most votes. I was so overjoyed that Trump didn't win. I didn't care about who won but only who lost. 

You can tell Trump is starting to really lose it mentally by his increased use of profanity and the choice of which bad words he uses. I wouldn't be surprised by anything now. I am thinking he might as well bring a Moslem "terrorist" on stage at his next rally and strangle him with his bare hands. (I am not encouraging him to do that, I am just thinking what is something bizarre, and that is just one of many things, but I won't bother you with the others.) I am just surprised that no one has made an assassination attempt on him yet. He has white supremicists backing him. He has irritated so many people. The British Parliament debated banning him from their country. Putin likes him and then Trump gave a bit of praise to the leader of North Korea. If someone would have created a movie a year ago about all the things of the Trump 2016 campaign, people would have thought it was unrealistic.

-----

I have had fun this week converting an old laptop running Windows 7 with an upgrade to Windows 10. It has been rather smooth, and I have seemed to be able to get the latest versions of my business software to run on Windows 10. So I have more confirmation testing to do before I upgrade my main computer used for design and manufacturing. I will also be doing my first hard drive to SSD upgrade most likely next week.

2016-02-01

Cooper: Lasagna Delivery Service Complainer

As I was preparing the dogs' food this morning, Cooper started complaining in a sad low volume whine. I told him, "Be quiet, there are dogs in Ethiopia who are not getting [what you are getting] lasagna for breakfast. Several of them."

And then about 14 seconds later I remembered that Italy invaded Ethiopia [in 1936], so there might actually be several Ethiopian dogs who had lasagna this morning.

Link to Ethiopian Lasagna Recipes:
https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/great-recipes.asp?food=ethiopian+lasagna

-----

I am trying to understand why anyone would think this is a valid news story:

Shark Eats Smaller Shark at South Korean Aquarium

This isn't "news" - fish have been eating fish for a veRy long time.

-----

At first I thought 'Ted' Cruz, besides being Canadian, might secretly be a TMNT, but then I saw there was a spelling diphpherence between his real name 'Rafael' versus the TMNT 'Raphael'. Then I thought, does the U. S. Constitution require you to be a human to be president; can you be a turtle?!?!?!?

Because turtles come from eggs, this would not be a 'birther' controversy, but rather a 'hatcher' one.

-----

Yea!!! Better Call Saul, season "won", is finally on Netflix. Winter is over, I have a reason to stop hibernating.

2016-01-27

Design Rejected By School Admin

I was asked to create a design for a school class T-shirt for a local school. 


The graduating class is 2017, and they wanted to incorporate the number 17 as an abstract X in the two words WE'RE NEXT. They aren't the current graduating class, but they're next. At first it seemed like a strange design, but after playing with font choices it grew on me. I purposely put the 1 on top of the 7 with the spacing between the numbers to indicate they were layered separate elements, yet stylistically combined to create an abstract X. The 1 is on "top" and rotated left and the 7 below rotated right seemed to be the logical way (to me) to read the numbers as a 17, the mind interpreting the 1 first then the 7.



The customer seemed very pleased, and began the process of collecting orders from other students, so we could begin the printing process.

BUT ... the design was rejected by the school administration because they said it resembled a Nazi swaztika! 

I looked at several examples of Nazi swaztikas online, and they seem to always be solid and symmetrical about a rotational axis at 90 degrees. Our X is incorporated as part of a word, and is meant to be separate elements of 1 and 7 layered and they aren't solid, there is a gap. The line width on a swaztika is very uniform width throughout the entire design, and our design clearly is not uniform width.

2016-01-24

Donald At The 5TH

I am thinking perhaps Trump had drank a fifth of something, causing him to say this:


"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?" Trump told an enthusiastic audience at a Christian school, Dordt College, "Its like incredible."

I am hoping that Donald will go ahead and do that, and that the person he shoots is himself.

The 5th Avenue that Donald speaks of is of course, New York City, which is currently in a blizzard. So we might get double lucky and he will go outside and freeze as well.

-----

I love this headline!!! It appears that Jeff Bezos has turned himself into a rocket, yes, that would be a first, amaz-on-ing.


-----
From Thursday in my car
I was just now so hilariously confused at the busy 4 way stop at the intersection of 5th & Main because a f-'ing idiot in a gray Camaro did a U turn in the MIDDLE of the intersection. It was so majestically stupid that I applauded.

-----

Pepper has made progress by learning to play fetch with a tennis ball. He has caught it several times in mid-air.

2016-01-16

Wal-Mart Dis Disappearing While Meteorite Guns Are Appearing

I think its strange when someone writes an article with the headline: 

"Walmart to Close 269 Stores, Lay Off 16,000 Employees", 

BUT then the fourth paragraph from the end is:

Also Friday, Walmart announced that as many as 405 new stores would be opened worldwide during its next fiscal year, with a focus on large warehouse stores and suburban areas.

So ... the net effect is Wal-Mart is actually in the process of growing.

-----

Pepper made progress today: He caught a tennis ball in mid-air!

-----

I love how the people running for President talk about, 'America', all the time. They are seeking to lead a country and they don't even use the correct name.

The Americas, I believe, are really both continents, North -and- South. So when Ted Cruz was born in Canada, he was born in, you guessed it, America. Hahahaha

(No, I am not a Cruz-ader)

'Make America Great Again' ?

No, I don't think that is really possible, for the simple reason that it never really ever stopped being great.

I will just be glad when this eXtremely bizarre presidential campaign is OVER.


-----


I feel terrible.
Why?
I am in a strange state of pain from being jerked awake by starting to fall off my bed after falling asleep too close to the edge, and then waking up and finding yourself rolling off the bed.
I had been reading with my iPad propped up on the nightstand. 
So it wasn't just falling off the bed but also the process of almost hitting my head or face into the nightstand as well.
PLUS...this isn't a rare occurance, sadly, I did this yesterday, too.


-----


So, someone wants to pay $1,000,000 for a firearm with most of its parts made from a meteorite? I was under the impression that rocky planets, such as earth, were basically an agglomeration of meteorites. So the only difference between an ordinary firearm and this one is when the metal arrived, not necessarily the source.


-----


Todays Gunny Funny:


If the president is successful in taking away all our guns, then the band 'Guns And Roses' can rename themselves 'Neuroses'.


-----


Today's New Word: Ambi-dogs-trious 
I have learned how to pet/rub/massage two dogs at the same time.





2016-01-01

Happ Ne Yea & y w r

(From Jan 1st 2016 PM)


I am at the diner watching people play the card game 31 at the community table. The guy on the west side of the table is drunk and has just started causing problems. The two guys on the east side are telling him they want his mother's phone number so she can come down to the diner and give him a spanking. The drink got a lot louder and the owner came out a couple times to tell him to settle down He mumbled an apology.

Meanwhile the song, "The Boys From Oklahoma Roll Their Joints All Wrong" is playing on the juke box.

The drunk just asked me what I said, but I told him I had said nothing.

Suddenly the song "Easy Like Sunday Morning"

He asked "Who played this song? It's a good song"

I lied and said, "I did"

Of course, I was just messing with him, as I had not left the table.

He said, "All right!" and put out his hand to for me to shake it, so I did.

He told the elderly man to my right, "Harold, if you ever need a drunk to work for you again, just give me a call."

He then asks Harold if he was a good worker. "Not when you are drinking."

A small child came into the diner to get the diner to get the drunk. He had a ride home.

I left to go groc shopping. As I was leaving the song "People Are Crazy" by Billy Currington.

2015-12-25

No Know Bernie

I was sitting in my office chatting with my wife. She noticed an ad on a Facebook screen that had incorporated Bernie in it. She asked, "What does 'Borger For Bernie' mean?"


I told her that it was a reference to Bernie Sanders, and she asked me who he was. I asked her, do you not know who Bernie Sanders is?!?!?!?, to which she replied she did not. I think she lives in an apolitical mind set, or only pays attention to things her customers talk about. Obviously she has not paid any attention to my conversations about Bernie. 

I told her that she just might be the only non-comatose person in the United States who did not know who Bernie is. She laughed and said, thanks for comparing me to people in a coma.

-----

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I am somewhat trapped in Borger because of the predicted snow and ice storm scheduled to arrive later today. I had no intention of asking someone to drive on icy roads to take care of my dogs while I go out of town. I think there are also heavy rains scheduled in the destination spot as well.

Pepper, the new dog, is starting to get things figured out. He is needing lots of attention from me. I think he has figured out that cheese is associated with the 9 PM crickets sound on my iPhone alarm.

It appears I am starting Christmas Day with a veRy severe headache.

I am cooking something new today: Shrimp étouffée

They had a powder mix at the groc store along with frozen raw shrimp that has been de-tailed. It appears they left off the correct É for the first letter on the packaging.




2015-12-14

Our New Furry Friend, Pepper

We discovered a rescue dog that needed a home, and I got him just as soon as I could this morning, in spite of being given the wrong address to the facility.


This is our new dog Pepper. I am at home today on mutt-urnity leave, getting him adjusted to his new surroundings and meeting Cooper. He is a German Shepherd-Huskie mix like Cooper, only darker colored.

It wasn't until an hour after I got home that I realized that both dogs' names end with -per. It was quite by accident. My wife and I early this morning were going down a list of common German Shepherd names and I realized that Pepper would match his coloring. I had seen one photograph of him on Facebook from the local rescue site.


Pepper and Cooper seem to be getting along just fine. December is a good dog month for me. On December 30th it will mark my 10th year to have had with Cooper.

2015-11-17

Novembernados

We had an eXciting evening last night as tornados ripped through our area. The Haliburton oil field services facility in nearby Pampa was wiped out by a twister that I heard was a mile wide. I have added a snapshot of the weather radar that has the rather skinny appearing but rather long storm. It stretched from southern Texas to northern Nebraska at this point around 8 PM.





I almost forgot about the hail.


A local dog got lost and wound up in our back yard. Luckily it had a tag with an address and phone number. So its owner got it shortly after the worst part of the storm. It was a pretty & young Huskie named Kola. So now Cooper has been wanting to go outside practically once an hour or more, sniffing the ground, wondering where he went. This behavior, through the night, irritated my wife, who kept getting woke up by Cooper to go outside. How come "our" dog suddenly becomes "my" dog when he gets in trouble?

-----

So, Donald Trump made an anouncement that he wanted to shut down mosques. I wonder if he has ever heard of the concept of separation of church and state? Maybe someone advised him about it because he softened his line to inspecting mosques. If the government never managed to shut down the horrible Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas, then they have no business shutting down anyone else. I will be glad when his cam-pain is over.

-----

I have had a great time making, eating and giving away bierox to my friends. This batch has been much better than the previous one. I put too much garlic and not enough cabbage in the previous batch. This has been my fourth time to make bierox since late September.

-----

The ISIS attack in France seems veRy bizarre. ISIS seems like they are total idiots, useless beings. They seem to be about as worthwhile as scorpions.

-----

I think I may start reading Samuel Beckett.

-----

I found out about a product and company called Martin Jetpack from New Zealand. They seem to have a very interesting device.

http://martinjetpack.com

-----

EVER TRIED. EVER FAILED. 
NO MATTER. TRY AGAIN. 
FAIL AGAIN. FAIL BETTER.
- Samuel Beckett

"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know." - W.H. Auden



2015-11-06

Texas Gas Non-Service, A Division of nONE Gas

We have properties that use natural gas supplied by Texas Gas Service. One is residential and the other is commercial. My wife handles the residential payment and I pay the commercial because I collect rent from the cosmetologists and barber who work at my building and so I want to be sure they always have heating and hot water.

I dislike paying the gas bill on a monthly basis because they charge $1.50 for each transaction, so I pay them an excess of 3 to 6 months worth at a time. This can mean that I have a credit on the business property account sometimes of several hundred dollars. But my wife prefers to only pay one month at a time, which results in sometimes the gas being shut off for non-payment (today). A rather cool November day, so I have been keeping my nose warm with coffee and a cup of chicken noodle soup. Thank you electrically powered microwave oven.

So I am sitting here at home instead of working, waiting for the gas man to come by to turn it back on.

Ironically if you pull up the website for making payments you can see both accounts under the same log-in AND at this moment and yesterday when they turned it off, the amount of money we owed for back payment for the residential service is LESS than the credit amount that I still have for the business property. And also consider that the vast majority of time the credit value exceeds anything owed by at least a hundred dollars.

Deeply Ironic: When I tried to make a payment at their website last night it failed miserably, multiple times.

Plus they have a reconnection fee, I think it is $50.

We have been buying gas from this company for over 35 years. Its not like we are going to suddenly leave town and disappear without paying.

Solar power is looking more possible with a backup generator, along with electrical appliances to replace the gas kitchen stove and hot water heater.

UPDATE: I watched the serviceman from the gas company reconnect my gas service. I discovered something(s) interesting.

Not only had they gone to the simple trouble of turning the supply valve before the meter to the OFF position and locking it, they had also temporarily loosened up the gas meter and had put a PLUG in the exit side of the meter! THEN after he had put everything back together and checked it for leaks, he painted the entire piping from where it exits and enters the ground on each side of the meter all the way back to the meter. I asked him why they did that (to a line the looked freshly painted already) and he said it was for corrosion prevention. But I think it is also a measure to check for tampering with the piping connections (!) in the future.

In high school we made a methane gas generator that collected gas from decomposing organic matter. We collected the gas in an inverted plastic trash can that was inverted in a slightly larger container of water. Our reaction vessel was an old hot water heater tank that had the top cut off, then had a rubber gasket to seal in the gaseous products. I think we used an old inner tube from a truck tire for the gasket source. We also built a solar collector to create hot air. We had it right outside our science classroom. During my last year of high school I had three separate classes of chemistry, physic and an alternative energy. My teacher was Mr. George Sturtz.

2015-10-29

Paha Sapa Weeped for Me

I have been veRy busy and distantly away.

I spent a week in South Dakota visiting several relatives. I mainly stayed with one cousin who is my primary male friend. We normally chat or text several times a week.

So this trip I brought along several ingredients and baking equipment. I taught him how to make bierox, lasagna and a German Chocolate cake. He called my wife to tell her he was kidnapping me and was refusing to let me go home to Texas! She strongly disagreed and said I had better be coming home that particular day (the scheduled last day of my trip). 

As I was leaving the Black Hills they were crying (raining) because I was going back to Texas. I said, "Its  going to be okay Black Hills, Ernie will be back next year to see you." And they stopped crying (it stopped raining.)

It was my animal-est time to ever visit South Dakota. It was quite green and there were plenty of deer, turkey, and antelope. I didn't see a single deer until the last 5 miles to my cousin's ranch, then I saw at least 20 in that stretch of road. A couple mornings later I went out shortly after the sun came up in order to examine the massive John Deere combine that we were working on. When I came out of the building there were at least 25 wild turkeys around me. They started to move away from me as soon as I appeared but mainly walking, practically no flight or running. I took several photographs, but then slowly that group of 25 turned out to be only half of the group as another 25 came around from the north side of the building, a few almost walking right into me.

I did prove that the deer of South Dakota are smarter than the deer of Nebraska. I ran into one out of two deer that I saw in Nebraska on my way home. It smashed my front grille and damaged the support mechanism, so I think it may take at least a 1000 dollars worth of parts, but I may be able to fix everything myself. 

I did manage to buy stamps for postcards before my trip, so I wrote to my friend in prison and my friend in London who has sent me many postcards from probably every journey she has taken while living in Europe. 

I returned home to TOO much work in my printing business, but we managed to get the critical large order done just in time. I think sprained the bottom of my right foot.

After not dying from the week's worth of work done in four days instead of seven, I recuperated a little and made bierox again for my wife and myself. I made her's with beef, and mine with a mixture of buffalo and pork sausage.

Cooper was veRy glad to see me. He usually has a brief period right after I get home from a long journey where he will complain loudly about me being gone. But I seemed to have circumvented that ritual by making sure to bring him a fresh chew bone just as I walked in the door. My wife didn't let him know I was coming home until she heard my car arrive, otherwise he complains moaningly and stares out the window or lays on the floor staring at the front door.


New Blog for My Abstract Art ... Come Visit

Click HERE for the Art of Ernest S B Boston

These are pieces that I have generated mainly using computer art tools. Enjoy !

Something New:

I am also in the process of linking my poetry blog entries together. This project is only partially finished. A "Poetry LINK" at the bottom of the blog entry points to the next older piece of poetry.


First poem in the series of linked poems ....

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Blog Archive

My Art

These are some of my abstract art pieces. They are available as prints, send me a note if you are interested.

Couch Glow

Couch Glow

Gold As Smoke

Gold As Smoke

Flowing Wood

Flowing Wood